The Belonging Collective

Helping students to find their sense of belonging is not all about test scores and performance outcomes. It is proven to impact these, as outlined in my previous blog The Belonging Bonus, but this should not be the reason for our focus. If belonging is something that we all seek, (Maslow 1943) and we don’t find it in the places we might expect to, what happens then?

If I were to ask you where you feel you belong most, I hope that you would be able to list at least 2 or 3 places where you really felt that connection. Your sense of self, your worth, places where you were able to be yourself unconditionally. You might say at home or at work, at school or with friends. You might say at the match or the music venue, or at a place of worship, but I would hope that you have at least somewhere you feel that strong sense of belonging. If you don’t, then you are seeking it.

It really is that simple. If you haven’t found it, you’re looking for it.

And so, students who do not find that sense of belonging in school, or in the classroom, are looking to meet that need elsewhere.

Brene Brown in her book ‘Braving the Wilderness’ discusses a series of interviews with adolescents and, perhaps even more concerningly, many of them described the hardest thing as not feeling that sense of belonging at home. Maybe because they weren’t what their parents expected them to be. They weren’t sporty or social, they weren’t academically successful or their gender identity caused conflict, maybe they don’t have a safe, stable home environment at all. Katriona O’Sullivan, describes this environment in her book, ‘Poor‘ and the importance to her of finding a sense of belonging when she first attends school, how that grounded her.

As young adolescents begin to explore, seek and define their identity, they are actively seeking reassurance from their social network. Schools have the opportunity, or even responsibility, to ensure that they find positivity, confidence and reassurance that what they are, what they feel and what they think, is ok.

Allen and Kern outline the factors associated with a lack of belonging for our students. It is linked with anxiety, depression and suicide ideation (McMahon, Parnes, Keys and Viola, 2008; Moody and Bearman, 2004; Shochet and Homel, 2007) It correlates with high levels of absenteeism and truancy and school drop out (Croninger and Lee, 2001; Connell, Halpern-Flesher, Clifford, Crichlow and Usinger, 1995; Hallinan, 2008). It correlates with increased incidences of fighting, bullying and vandalism (Wilson and Elliot, 2003) and increased disruptive behaviour and emotional distress. (Lonczak et al, 2002). It is linked to increased incidences of risk taking behaviour such as substance and tobacco misuse (Goodenow, 1993) and early sexualisation (Samdal et al, 1998)

Kim Samuel in her book, ‘On Belonging‘ finds that when we are denied our human birthright to belong, we are liable to pursue strategies that compound isolation such as substance misuse, or social division and misguided, destructive, irrational behaviours.

Negative behaviours can all generally be traced back to a lack of feeling connected, or important to others.

So finding a sense of belonging for our students is vital, but, if not us as educators, then who? Especially for those who are not finding it at home either…

Understanding Recruitment to Organized Crime and Terrorism by (Weisburd et al 2020) helps us to understand how criminal organisations find and identify individuals experiencing social isolation and tap in to that need for belonging. By offering them a ‘family,’ a place in which they might be valued, or play a role that has importance and meaning, they are tempted in with status, loyalty and respect. Dickens’ ‘Oliver Twist‘ was not a million miles from reality in the way he was groomed and made to feel gratitude towards Fagen, his abuser.

There are many of these groups willing to reach out to our young people and promote this ideology to fulfil their belonging need. County Lines gangs, extremist organisations, abusers and smaller, local crime groups are all on the look out for vulnerable, isolated adolescents, or even children, who they can control through simulated love and loyalty.

Weeda Mehran studied the recruitment strategies for militant extremist groups and has found that they are not driven by ideological fervour, but much more by trying to find acceptance, respect or shared meaning. She found that one of the most fertile recruitment grounds for extremist organisations is university students , who describe themselves as isolated, without bonds to close friends or family connections. She describes how recruiters for The Islamic State, for example, actively prey on ‘not feeling your belonging…. not sharing your values or perspective.’ They are actively looking for social isolation.

Cohen in his book ‘Belonging‘ studies the story of a man who find his sense of belonging in the Klu Klux Klan. He describes how he was a disgruntled worker, out of a job and down on his luck, but how the Klan understood how to offer him a sense of purpose, the sense of belonging to a larger group that valued, respected and cared for him, to which he felt he had something to contribute. How the cheers and applause on his initiation helped him to feel like somebody ‘big’ for the first time, feeling a sense of status and fellowship.

These organisations rely on the negative process of ‘othering.’ This is one of the key negative ways in which individuals, or groups try to promote a sense of belonging in order to promote their own agenda. That is to project negative rhetoric on to another group in order to alienate, segregate and rally others to our cause. It might be migrants, women, the LQBTQ+ community, the old or those of another political persuasion. It might even be, in school, to promote being a student at our school as superior to those at another neighbouring establishment. All of this is to use negative energy in the pursuit of belonging, which ends in promoting hate and segregation over self confidence and harmony.

So, as educators, our responsibility lies in ensuring that our young people find a place where they feel secure in themselves, a place where they connect and find belonging, a place where we celebrate difference and diversity and do not promote a culture of ‘othering.’ A safe space, free from judgement or an expectation to change who they are to ‘fit in,. A place where it is safe to experiment, get things wrong and be understood.

A school.

If you are looking for strategies to promote this, please take a look at my blog My Best Bets for Belonging .